Dating / Relationship Tip – How to Turn a Guy Into a Man
Wait, can you?! Well, actually, yeah, you can. But it’s going to take a lot of work.
First, you need to be clear about the differences between being with a Guy versus a Man.
When you’re with a Guy, your relationship is punctuated by fights…often. There’s a lot of drama, tiptoeing around, fighting over a lot of little things and especially over money. Sex can feel like a desperate plea to keep him around, and you’re lonely for all the wrong reasons…usually because half his attention is on other women. In this relationship you feel Distrust, Anger, Hurt, Fear.
WATCH: KNOWING WHO YOU ARE GET’S YOU THE RIGHT MAN
When you’re in a relationship with a man, you have the freedom to pursue your interests, see your friends, do what pulls at your heart. There is a willingness to repair or avoid conflict, and from conflict comes growth of character. You share a sense of intimacy and community with him and you are lonely for all the right reasons…because maybe he works long hours to ensure his family is provided for. In this relationship you feel Peace, Happiness, Gratitude, Love. And a bit of Fear…cause it rocks so much you don’t want to ever lose it.
So how do you turn a Guy into a Man? If you haven’t slept with him already, don’t. Then don’t kiss him for three months. And if he’s still around he’s worth the fact that you’ve been practicing these 5 steps.
1. Calm yourself.
That’s right, I said it. What do you want? Peace? If you’re going to ask him to calm himself so you can calm yourself you’re not being fair. What do YOU want? Peace. So you need to start training yourself to accept peacefulness. Create the space in your life for peacefulness and it will come. Field of dreams, right? So make time every day, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 if you can swing it. Sit quietly somewhere, put on some headphones and some nice Meditation music from You Tube (I picked some out for you already), and give yourself space to feel peaceful. Otherwise you won’t have it at the level that you really want it, because if you can’t make it for yourself, ain’t nobody gonna make it for you. Find some nice meditation tunes here https://goo.gl/pf6QFd
2. Define your boundaries.
First to yourself; really sit with them and become comfortable with the idea that you’re going to change your boundaries, because once you set them expect pushback. As long as you stand firm, you can alter the situation. If you give in, you are back at ground zero. Every time. And remember, anyone who does not accept your “no” is trying to control you. Don’t be afraid to give em the boot. You want to be with a man who sticks around because he cares for WHO YOU ARE, not for what he’s getting.
3. Reward good behaviour.
Men want us to be happy, so tell him what he does that makes you happy, then do something back to make him happy. Love is a verb, and Love makes the world go round…and round. What you give comes back, and if it doesn’t you notice, so give back when you feel happy. Spread that stuff all over the place and watch it grow. It’s amazing.
4. Allow moments of silent contentment.
It’s a man thing, but you’ll learn to appreciate how he can savour his feelings, and allowing him to feel them in his way now and then just heightens his feelings of intimacy towards you. Which, in the long run, is really nice. Like, compound interest nice.
5. Repeat. Enjoy. Love. Grow.
Here’s what you can do going forward:
If he’s NOT ready to commit and you’re tired of this scenario, or just want to make sure your next kiss is with someone who’s ready, get a copy of No More Assholes and find someone seriously amazing and ready to commit. He’s out there, I promise.
This is the book that helps you avoid turning little things into big fights, and you’ll love how the advice inside helps you create the Magical relationship you’re looking for. Peaceful, cohesive, passionate, and intimate.
Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now. My specialty is your peace of mind, and I’m adept at giving the perspective you need along with the tools you’ll use to start feeling happier, clearer, and on your way to the Love you want ASAP.
Look, nothing sucks more than giving your heart to someone who isn’t giving theirs back.
If this is something you’ve done too often it’s time to break that pattern, and lucky for you, you’ve met the pattern breaker. You’ll use different behaviors so you get a different outcome, and I know how to trigger a man’s brain in all the right spots.
Your happiness depends on your decisions first and foremost, not his, and I’m the Sherpa who carries the burden of knowledge and shows you the way.
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Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.