Seven Relationship Qualities a Real Man Looks For In a Woman
While I’m all about helping women find the right man, my work is moot if she’s just going to lose him. So what is your ideal man looking for? Here are the 7 traits that will keep him falling for you over and over.
1 – A woman who is emotionally strong. Did you know little boys cry more than girls? Males are sensitive their entire lives, but we squash their emotions with societal expectations. Big boys don’t cry, right? Whereas girls have always been encouraged and are even expected to cry. It’s not fair, and it’s no wonder males have higher rates of suicide and substance abuse; they haven’t been allowed the opportunity to let their feelings run their course like we have.
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Men appreciate a woman who is strong enough to have the patience, nurturing, and love to see them through their emotional tough times and allow them to grow through them. They appreciate the safe place you provide to grow and become a better man. Love is about giving space without judgement and offering forgiveness when the journey takes us down rough roads, and being able to grow together is what truly bonds two people in love.
Not that you won’t have your own moments where you need his emotional support. It just means you have the ability to be ready, willing, and able to support him when he needs it, too. We have to be able to take turns being the pillar of strength in our relationships.
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2 – A woman who has weaknesses. I know it sounds counter-intuitive to the first point, but I like a little shock value now and then. Here’s what I mean by this; a man is protective by nature and still has an instinct to defend his mate. He wants to be with a woman who has vulnerabilities he can protect and nurture because they help him feel needed in the relationship. A woman who doesn’t allow a man to take care of her in any way gives the impression there’s no role for him in her life.
I’m not saying you should quit your job and become dependent on him. I’m saying let him kill those spiders, even if you could kill them yourself. Find something he, and only he, can tend to for you. Big or small, there has to be something he’s “the man for the job” in your life. At the very least, allow him to be the one who can hold you and say “everything will be all right” when you’re upset.
Being able to lean on each other exclusively in some areas, no matter how minor, cements his sense of companionship. This gives the impression he has a special place with you, growing his love and commitment.
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3 – A woman who is feminine. Let’s face it, a man just wants to feel like a man, and having a woman by his side who can play up her femininity helps him achieve just that. He’ll still love to see you slap on rubber boots and muck through the trenches to catch fish, but when you come out of the bathroom all dolled up for a night on the town he’s going to say to himself, “That’s right, that’s a woman who shows the world I’m her man!”
Watch his chest puff out, his eyes light up with appreciation, and how he smiles when he sees you because you’ve made him feel like a million and one dollars just by looking like a million yourself.
4 – A woman who doesn’t need him. And by need I mean clingy. Repeat after me, a man is a prettier version of a caveman. His instinct to hunt and chase is still there, it’s just being exercised in ways like finding the perfect deal on a car. But that’s not all he wants to chase, and a woman who keeps the hunt going excites his brain.
Part of his thrill happens in the effort it takes to convince a woman she needs him around. Men love women they can occasionally pursue, and giving him the moon one day and taking a personal day the next keeps him guessing and thinking.
5 – A woman who will challenge him. Men are curious by nature and love being with women who regularly expand who they are. This keeps them from feeling like the relationship is mundane, and they love the added spice every time you introduce something new.
It doesn’t matter what you pursue and educate yourself on, what matters is how much it fires you up talking about it. Bringing home the new and exciting things you’re filling your mind and soul with gives him an added opportunity to expand his own mind.
Having opinions on what you learn and what he shares with you will keep him on his toes. Plus, the thrill of watching you evolve will inspire deeper feelings and give the sense he too can change, and that change is okay and nurtured in your relationship.
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6 – A woman who is confident. This is numero uno when it comes to attracting and keeping a man! Men don’t want to spend every minute with a woman trying to convince her she’s as amazing as they already believe. They appreciate a woman who knows her own value and qualities, and allows a man to be the icing on her cake rather than force him to be a constant cheerleader.
Men find out what makes you amazing and love you for it, so be confident in your worth and allow a man to love you the way you are. If you’re lacking this nothing else will matter because you don’t love yourself enough to BE loved. If need to, practice the “fake it ‘til you make it” method by not verbalizing any insecurities. You’ll find they’ll fade into the background while you let him love you.
And I don’t mean shed all of your insecurities, although wouldn’t that be great?! I have insecurities too, but I’ll show 1/1,000 of them to my husband because I don’t want to discolour his view of me with my own skewed vision. We are our own worst enemies, I’m well aware of that, but you don’t have to push someone else’s impression of you in the gutter just because of your own beliefs that your hair is too frizzy or your tummy doesn’t tuck enough.
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Confidence is the ability to shoulder your own self-image and move forward despite anything you think holds you back. It’s the ability to let your goals override your uncertainty, to charge forward with power instead of reacting to doubt. Be confident DESPITE any nagging voices in your head.
Step into the exquisiteness he sees; rise up and be loved. Let go of your fears and advance into a space where you’re cherished and appreciated. I know you want to.
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7 – A woman who is independent. A real man is out there in the world, conquering. He wants to be with a woman who is doing her own conquering, whether it’s in business or pleasure. Being with a woman who has ambition to succeed and independent passions gives him peace of mind knowing she’s not hinging her whole world on him, and the knowledge she’s keeping herself fulfilled while he’s taking care of his own fulfillment gives him comfort.
I’m not saying don’t plan to be home when he is if that’s what you both like, but maintain your own interests aside from your relationship and have something that rounds you out so all your financial, mental, and emotional eggs aren’t in one basket. A man who loves you will want you to feel like a whole person.
Emotionally strong, yet vulnerable. Feminine yet powerful. Intelligent and confident. Embody these qualities and you will become a woman who can not only win over any amazing man, but be able to achieve and adapt to anything you want from life. You’ll love yourself so much that love will not just flow, but gush towards you as per the laws of attraction. Intimacy is love in its purest form, and it can only be shared when your doors are wide open to everything life has to offer.
Once he’s ready to commit and it’s time to take it to the next stage, read After The First Kiss – 7 Steps To Making Your First Year Together Ridiculously Awesome and make sure you’re creating a strong foundation together. This book helps you understand how to keep little things from turning into big fights, and this is vital to laying the groundwork that you’ll build on for years to come. There’s a reason why I say this book makes your first year AWESOME.
Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now. My specialty is helping you understand and clarify those confusing moments, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you begin to feel like you’ve got a great action plan in hand. Heck, I even give you the scripts for those difficult conversations. My specialty is making love happen easily for you. So choose your plan, and let’s create some Magic in your love life.
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Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.