What’s A Playboy? And Can You Recognize Them Before They Waste Your Time?

 

Loreque Fearon is a grade 10 student in Toronto, majoring in arts and Dance, as well as Literacy. She plans on writing books about dealing with different types of boys and relationships and is in the process of developing herself as a budding Author.

How many types of Playboys are out there?

You might realize that I am referring to them as “Playboys”, and not by a term you are more accustomed to, which would be “Fuckboys”. This is because that term actually has another meaning, and has eventually been shifted to accommodate our society.

But that lecture is for another time, so let’s get into knowing more about these types of boys.

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There are AT LEAST nine different types of these boys, if not more. But these are the main ones that you’ll identify within the first ten seconds of talking to them. And they can do a lot in ten seconds of talking to you.

Just to lighten the mood here is a poem I found, on these wonderful people, and this needs to be recognized:

Play Boy: A Modern Dr. Seuss Tale

“What are you up to?” His simple text said

“Just eating cereal and lying in bed”

“What if I was with you?” He responded with ease,

“I guess I would get more cereal if I please,”

And that’s when he said it, that simpering lad, that stupid response that makes us all mad.

My mind filled with dread, with a twist in my gut,

I picked up my phone and read “Haha and then what ;)”

“And then what?!” shocked by his assumptions. “Leave me alone I’m begging you.”

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, he muttered those three dreaded words.

Yes I kid you not. That little prick.

I opened that next message that read “Pic 4  Pic?”

I then retorted “ No, do not send your unsolicited pics,” I surely can see pass your little tricks.

And when things took an alarming switch,

The boy with a wounded ego replies “ You’re an ungrateful witch.”

The very next morning the boy got up and let out with a sigh,

“Why does no one like me I’m such a nice guy.”

Reading that never gets old, but without further ado; let’s jump right in!

The Cocky  Playboy:  The first Playboy is the cocky one. Frankly every Playboy is a little cocky but some are just way too over the top, and you can tell by just talking to them really. He believes he can get any girl he wants and you should be “honored” to be one of his selections. His ego is 99 % of his brain and the other 1% is nonexistent because maybe if it existed it would take up more than just 1%. In my opinion, these are the most common types of Playboys because they’re obsessed with their reflection and thinks everyone else should be too. The poem written earlier was a perfect example of what a cocky Playboy would do and more importantly, say. They first try to sweet talk you, assuming you actually want to talk to them; and at the first sign that you’re not interested they freak out and ditch. And that’s when they start calling you names, and swearing, etc. It’s either they got too much love as a kid, or not enough. But the history of these boys are coming in later chapters.

The “I don’t want to label our relationship” boy:  These boys aren’t the worst, but they’re just as annoying. They want to do everything a relationship consists of, and because you want a relationship you play along as well, only to find that they don’t want to label it as a real relationship? It can get confusing.

But when dealing with Playboys it’s important to realize that their Playboys. They don’t want to be tied down. Urban dictionary defines them as: A boy who makes you feel special. He makes you feel like you are the only girl in his life, when really you are just one in 100. Not to mention that he is strictly only into sexual relationships. He might be doing all the things a relationship might consist of but at the end of the day he’s only in it for one reason, and that’s also the reason you’re in this world. Literally.

You might think playboys are just really stupid, annoying and confusing, but think about it. If they’re already getting everything they want from you, without having the title of being your boyfriend, they don’t want to be tied down. And if one relationship fails they can just jump back to the other one. They’re having the time of their lives, while you’re at home watching Netflix alone wondering why he won’t make your “relationship” official. They’re smarter than you think.

The one that only uses you for money and fun times: Yes you read right, these types take your money too. As weird as it might sound for you to be with a guy that is just taking your money, it happens. Very rarely, but it does. With these boys they have to be very careful with the people they select to be their side ladies because otherwise their goal will not work at all.

They specifically talk to you just to get a sense of your self-esteem, and how you treat yourself mentally. From there they can then analyze if you have a lot or little self-respect for yourself; and that is when thing get interesting. If they notice that you have a lot of confidence and you’re comfortable in your own skin, they will most likely leave you alone because what they want to do will not work on you.

On the other hand if you’re completely self-conscious and have zero confidence in yourself they will latch onto you like a leech. But only if you actually have something to offer them, like money, or materialistic items. The thing is they notice when you don’t have enough respect for yourself, so they then proceed to sweet talk you and tell you things you want to hear, thus leading you to trust them enough to give them the things they want. Like money and food and so on.

He is full on using you and you will be too dumbstruck in the fact that someone “likes” you to notice it. Even when your friends are telling you that he did the exact same thing to some other girl you’re in denial. But I mean, is anyone really ever 100% in denial? Ask yourself, when does he hit you up? What does he want when he hits you up? Does he do the things you want when you hit him up? Is there a pattern? All playboys use you, but these are the kind that will ruin your credit score, and max out your credit card. He got to go.

I don’t know about you, but even though we’ve only covered three out of the nine types of boys, I need a break. This excerpt is not by me, but from “whatever pronoun relates to you”.

“ Why did you guys break up?”

She laughed almost painfully. “One day he loved me and the next he didn’t. Strange isn’t it? How fast someone’s feelings can change, and then there’s nothing you can do but accept it. You have to sit and accept the fact that you’re completely in love with someone who doesn’t give a heck whether you come or go, and frankly they would rather if you didn’t come at all. And that sucks.”

That was beautiful, but the fact that someone can ruin you so much is horrible, but that’s what we’re trying to stop here; because these boys are getting worse by the second. But we still have six more types of playboys to get through so let’s continue.

The Vampire Type: We call these boys vampires because, well, similar to vampires they only come out at night. Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll see them in the day time; but that rarely happens, so don’t count on it.

These boys will want nothing to do with you in day time, but as soon as the moon comes out, you’ll get notifications of them hitting up your phone. Whether they want you to come over, or for them to come over to you or simply just talk with them over the phone, these types clearly want nothing to do with you. They just hit you up at night time when their bored and alone. They literally couldn’t care less about what happens to you.

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Even if you try to make a conversation with them in the day, it’s like they’re non-existent and nowhere to be found. They play mind trick with you by making you think they care so much about you at night, then leave you without hearing a word from them the whole day. And they know exactly what they’re doing, and how to get you to forgive them for it. Play boys know all the mind tricks, they’re not as dumb as you thought.

The one that tells you not to “Catch feelings” for them: If you ever meet this type of boy he will make it very clear what he wants to do with you, and what he wants from you. The fact that he told you not to catch feelings for him makes that point clear.

He wants nothing more from your relationship but to talk to you when he’s bored, and to hook up with you occasionally. The only good thing about this type of boy is that he makes that point clear, and you should expect nothing more from him.  And if you do end up falling for him, he’ll be sure to make it seem like you’re the crazy one because he told you ahead of time not to “catch feelings”.

The Excuse Maker: Ahh the classic Playboy filled with a million excuses for  why he didn’t answer your message, or pick up your call. Do these sound familiar: My phone died, I fell asleep, I forgot to press send, I don’t have good service.

It’s okay if they have an excuse once in a while because life happens; but if he’s telling you excuses every day, there’s a reason for that. And that reason is he finds you annoying and wants nothing to do with you, but he finds it too scary to actually man up and say it to your face.

WATCH: TEXTING RULES THAT DONT’ DRIVE HIM AWAY

You might be wondering how he this type got onto this list but the fact that he isn’t telling you he is not interested in you means he’s leading you on to believe he actually does like you. And by continuing the charade by telling you excuses makes this type as much of a Playboy as all the others.

When he finally decides enough is enough and he’s done with telling you excuses, he will most likely just walk out of your life and leave without explanation, leaving you worried and confused because it seemed to come out of nowhere.

The Thirst Trapper: Close your eyes and imagine this – well keep them open but imagine this… You’re scrolling through Instagram and you see a repost of a guy taking a mirror selfie topless and under it, the caption is a long worded quote about the way of life. You proceed to read this caption and because it is so deep you decide to comment on it.

Hold it right there honey, that’s a thirst trap at its finest. A thirst trap defined by urban dictionary is: “A sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media for the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attraction towards the poster.” These types of boys are just looking for some attention so they decide to post something they know others will like (specifically girls) so they will be given compliments, etc.

What is the long meaningful caption about you ask? Well they know that if they were to only post a picture it would be obvious they just want attention and compliments. But by then adding a caption to it that might have absolutely nothing to do with the picture viewers then begin to focus  more on the caption, and less on the content in the photo. At least that’s what they think. Leading you to want to read through the caption, and probably wanting to leave a comment which feeds his ego.

The one that doesn’t hide he’s a Playboy:  These guys are fully aware of what they are doing in terms of knowing who and what they are.

By calling out that they are these types of boys, they are making the girls they meet fully aware that they will not stay committed to them. It’s basically like he’s wearing a sign on his head that says “Don’t trust me, I will hurt you in the end”.

But sometimes we think we’re strong enough to handle them, and then you figure you’re not and begin reading this. Not to worry we’re all learning here.  I can’t help but believe these guys are the way they are because they crave attention. Unlike some boys that don’t make it obvious they are players, these ones do. But why? Is it because they crave the attention so much that they want every girl to know that they’re available, or is it because they’re trying to fill a gap from their childhood?

The type that sees you’re doing well and then wants you back: Don’t we all love this type? They stop texting you, and as soon as they see the slightest bit of proof that you’re still living and breathing without them, they want you right back. But not to fix what they started, oh no, to finish what they started and pull you down even more.

Similar to the “cocky type,” these boys think they are the best thing that has ever happened to you. But if they realize that you don’t need them, and your life actually doesn’t revolve around them they begin to panic. Which is why they come crawling back to you after you’ve worked so hard to bring your life together.

These boys are literally the human version of leeches. You know, those aquatic creatures that stick to your skin sucking the life out of you, and you have to pry them off. They may be little but they leave a lasting impact. Even though they might not give you an infection, they can do a lot of mental/self-damage.

These are only the nine main types but I’m sure  the list goes on. As long as you have the knowledge of what these boys really what, and an idea of what they’re trying to do, you know now to not get caught up in what they are trying to do.

They might be smarter than you think, but you’re definitely more capable than they think. And on that note, I leave with this quote…

“There’s a difference between somebody who wants you, and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that.”

Action Plan:  

If he’s NOT ready to commit, read No More Assholes – Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding The Real Man You’re Looking For and find someone amazing who’s ready for a relationship.

If he’s ready to commit and it’s time to take it to the next stage, read After The First Kiss – 7 Steps That Make Your First Year Together Riduculously Awesome and make sure you’re creating a strong foundation together

Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now!

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Chantal Heide – Canada’s Dating Coach

Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.

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