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By: wellness expert and love coach Orion Talmay
Dealing with a break-up is rarely easy. Even the most amicable of splits can cause petty spats and rifts — it’s just part and parcel of breaking up.
But it probably hasn’t escaped your notice that we are currently in the midst of an almost worldwide lockdown. This unprecedented situation has thrown break-ups into a new light, making them infinitely harder to deal with.
If you’re in the middle of a coronavirus break-up, don’t fret. Read on for four top tips for dealing with a break-up during the lockdown.
Immerse yourself in good noise
When you’re going through a break-up, your brain has a funny habit of making you dwell on your relationship. When your ex is the last thing you want to think of, they’re always the first thing on your mind.
Consequently, it’s important to distract yourself. I don’t mean by bingeing Friends and crying on your couch — I mean with positive, uplifting noise.
Start by changing what you read. Opt for uplifting blogs that focus on empowerment and success. This is especially useful at times like these when the news is full of coronavirus and little else. Read blogs that make you happy, and you will feel happy as a result.
Podcasts are also a great distraction, especially if you’re out running. Orion’s Stellar Life podcast, in particular, offers insightful interviews with a variety of life, love, and career experts that will inspire and uplift you.
Start a project
As highlighted above, distracting yourself is crucial for dealing with a break-up, especially during the lockdown. But as well as surrounding yourself with positive noise, you should also challenge your mind and immerse it in a project.
The project can be anything of your choosing. Painting, model-making, furniture upcycling, even rearranging your closet all make for good, solid projects. The aim of this is to force your brain to engage with something new, something that requires it to think.
But beyond this, starting a project also gives you a wonderful sense of achievement. There’s nothing quite like completing a beautiful painting in front of you after spending hours working on it. Even the joy of sorting your sock drawer feels good!
Whatever project you choose, pour yourself into it and let it fill your days. That sense of achievement will reverberate through you for a long while after.
Cut off social media
Social media has plenty of benefits. It connects you with friends, helps you stay in touch with distant relatives, and keeps you up to date with your social circle.
But social media is also one of the worst things you can use after a breakup. This is scientifically supported, so it’s worth remembering.
If your breakup is amicable, then you might be able to stay friends on social. But most breakups aren’t, so firstly, delete your ex from all social platforms.
In some cases, you might even need to block your ex entirely. There’s nothing quite like the stab of sadness when their face appears on your timeline, especially if you have mutual friends, and blocking them prevents that from happening.
It might also be worth temporarily deactivating your social accounts for a while. Seeing photos, videos, and updates from happy couples is the last thing you need to see right now, so take a break and spend some time away from the scroll.
This might sound dramatic, but being at home in lockdown scrolling through social by yourself is not a conducive environment for dealing with a breakup.
What if you live together?
Many of the points highlighted here apply only to couples who don’t live apart. But the truth is, the lockdown might also mean some couples that live together will break up too.
If you break up with your live-in partner, you will need to adopt a mature, pragmatic approach.
Avoid catty remarks or petty arguments, and don’t play games like trying to make them jealous as revenge. Focus on the practicalities of your situation. If necessary and possible, clearly delineate spaces in the house where each of you can stay. Set rules for dos’ and don’ts, and if you can’t be friendly, be civil.
You’re both going to need to work together to make the situation the best for both of you. Yes, it will be difficult — that’s unavoidable — but the only way you will make the situation easier for you both is by being mature and working together.
Splitting up with your partner is never easy, and the lockdown just makes it that bit trickier. But it is possible to get over them and past the heartache by following the tips above. Remember, time is the healer — focus on the above and give it time and you will, eventually, find peace and happiness in yourself.
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Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.