“I had an amazing time” you say with a hint of awe, as he stands in front of you looking into your eyes. You’ve just had a fantastic date, punctuated with great conversation, laughter, and fun flirting. He’s looking for his kiss, you WANT to give him a kiss….but it’s your first date. Or your second date. Or your third. You have SERIOUS chemistry and boy do you ever want to just let it happen… So why not? Why wouldn’t you just lean in and let it all loose, let yourself fall into his arms, into his kiss, into love?? Because lovelies, it’s not love yet, and the longer you wait to kiss a man who LOVES you instead of LUSTS you, the better your chances are of being in a relationship that will not only last, but will make your dreams come true.
Because here’s the thing…you have nothing to lose by telling a guy he needs to wait for a kiss. I know, you’re saying “but Chantal, guys are gonna lose interest and date someone else!” And you’re right!! GUYS will!! But MEN will be intrigued and interested in what makes you so special. Not only that, their natural instinct to hunt and acquire will be triggered and lovelies, trust me, nothing feels as great as being pursued by an amazing man! This is what I call Modern Day Courtship
So HOW do you say No when you REALLY want to say Yes!? Here’s what you do; the moment you feel like 1) this is the kind of man you can see yourself with (come to my Live Seminar to really learn what sort of man that should be) and 2) when you feel he’s into you and wanting more, you take his hand, look deep into his eyes, and say “I really like you, and I want to get to know you. But I don’t kiss men I don’t know, and I think 3 months is good enough for me to feel like I truly know you better. If we still have this much fun together, if we still want to go further after three months, then it’s on!” Look at the date, count three months out, and let him (and yourself!) know that if things haven’t fizzled out by then you have something special to celebrate.
So what do you do in the meantime? You hold hands as much as you want, you cuddle as much as you want, you stroke each other’s arms and back and neck and legs and faces AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! You will find amazing things happen when you allow chemistry to build without adding sexuality to the mix. Not to say this isn’t a sexy time…trust me, it’s sexy as hell. But holding off sexuality while building trust creates intimacy. And ladies, isn’t that what you really want in a relationship? So make them wait, and don’t be afraid to date more than one guy at once…guys will run away screaming, men will stay and win you over.
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Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.