I kissed a guy and I liked it. Can I still use the No Kissing Rule?
By Catherine Muss
The No Kissing Rule. It’s a thing, and you’re interested in trying it out. The problem is that you’ve already made out with this guy, or jumped into bed with him. You tell yourself that it’s too late, you just have to roll with it now. You’ve made your choices.
Whoa! Hold on there. Don’t ever write yourself off. You made your choices, yes, and you should absolutely own your choices. But there’s no reason you can’t backtrack and change the course of this budding romance.
WATCH: WHY NOT KISS FOR 3 MOTHS IF YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP
Wouldn’t backing up to a place just outside the friend zone be a good test of your real interests in this guy? You really can take the rose-coloured glasses off and get a grip on your feelings by pressing pause and initiating the No Kissing Rule after you’ve kissed.
Let’s recap the No Kissing Rule: For 3 months you don’t lock lips with the man you want to pursue a romantic relationship with. You can hug, snuggle on the couch, and hold hands while you walk down the moonlit beach, but it doesn’t get more intimate than that. The reasoning here is to protect your logical mind from your biological body. The act of kissing triggers a fun little chemical in your brain called Phenyl Ethylamine to go all aphrodisiac on you, causing your mind to skip over warning signs that you and this guy aren’t right for each other.
Good news! You’ve already kissed this guy and it was goooooood. You 2 connected so well that you’re interested in more than a casual fling.
Bad news! You know that you two have great chemistry, which is going to make sticking to the No Kissing Rule more difficult than if you had not kissed.
Good news! You are a woman, therefore you are strong, and you can do this!
I love it when the good outweighs the bad.
How do you reverse your decision to kiss those sugar lips?
Step 1: Own your decisions and forget regret.
You did it. You kissed him. You slept with him. Whatever. You did it, and it’s happened, and you can’t go back in time. Calling on the No Kissing Rule isn’t going backwards, it’s making a commitment to going forwards and carving a real relationship out of a little bit of fun. Don’t regret that. Harbouring regrets over decisions like that make you a flake, and you know what you are? A woman who knows her mind and respects herself. You are a woman who will find the guts to tell this guy, “Hey, I think we really have something here. Let’s kick this up a notch and see if we’ve got a future together.”
Step 2: Love yourself.
When the going gets tough – and if he’s good for you, those 3 months are going to feel loooooong and frustrating – remind yourself why you rely on the No Kissing Rule. Be as honest with him as you are with yourself, “This isn’t how I start a relationship. I loved being intimate with you, but if you want to keep seeing me then we need to get to know each other first.” If he’s a good man he’ll respect your self-respect and jump at the chance to discover what you have to offer him and your potential future. And if he isn’t interested? Then you just saved yourself a whole lotta hassle!
Here’s what you can do going forward:
If he’s NOT ready to commit and you’re tired of this scenario, or just want to make sure your next kiss is with someone who’s ready, get a copy of No More Assholes and find someone seriously amazing and ready to commit. He’s out there, I promise.
This is the book that helps you avoid turning little things into big fights, and you’ll love how the advice inside helps you create the Magical relationship you’re looking for. Peaceful, cohesive, passionate, and intimate.
Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now. My specialty is your peace of mind, and I’m adept at giving the perspective you need along with the tools you’ll use to start feeling happier, clearer, and on your way to the Love you want ASAP.
Look, nothing sucks more than giving your heart to someone who isn’t giving theirs back.
If this is something you’ve done too often it’s time to break that pattern, and lucky for you, you’ve met the pattern breaker. You’ll use different behaviors so you get a different outcome, and I know how to trigger a man’s brain in all the right spots.
Your happiness depends on your decisions first and foremost, not his, and I’m the Sherpa who carries the burden of knowledge and shows you the way.
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Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.